First off, I have to thank Jen for finally making me watch that movie at it's full. I have never seen it but it certainly put a lot of thought into me about relationships or just the dating world in general.
No one can pick and choose who they end up with. It's a long, almost dragged out process before you could even find someone you call "The One." Relationships can work, if you find ways to make it, but most of the time (at such a young age) you always wonder as a girl "Is this the one?"
I will put this out there now. I have been in an off and on relationship with my boyfriend right now for two years. Yes, it has been more on then off EVER. We basically only took a month off on the "official" single title. Going on though. . . I love my boyfriend. With all my heart. He treats me like gold and knows all the right things about me. I believe he is the one and I surely hope he is. I have nothing wrong with him and this entry has nothing to do with him. This has to do with the girl's who can't seem to find the right person.
No, I am not saying I know for sure if my boyfriend is the one. Anything can happen right? Okay. Well this is where you have to look at things. You go into a relationship knowing "anything can happen," so why do girl's get so disheveled when it ends? The guy, hypothetically speaking, breaks your heart into a million pieces and you cry and cry and cry over him, but for what cost? In the end you've gained twenty pounds you didn't want to gain and then you find out he's dating again. There you go, you gain another ten pounds and try to get back on the dating field with no respect for yourself or will power.
Again I say, for what cost? Yes, you loved him. A girl always gives all of herself to a man and just finds herself thrown to the side like a rag doll. You feel used, you feel betrayed, and certainly. . . you feel lost. But this isn't the end of the world. Time and time again, after all the hardships and all the heartbreak, you still have that smig bit of hope that there is someone out there who is meant to be your number one. And it's that hope that makes me feel that girl's have more in them then we allow ourselves to show. Our hearts are so big it's hard to give it all to one person. You never even realize it, but half of your heart belongs to you.
Self love. That is one thing I don't see enough of in this world. Girl's always say "I don't like this about myself/I don't like that" but honestly, in the end you have more respect for yourself (as a woman) to let yourself get kicked to the curb like that. Now now, I don't mean go and get revenge. You should certainly build back up yourself before you even get back onto the field from a breakup. But remember, it's never the end of the world ladies.
I have been there before. Heartbroken and feeling the need to automatically replace that empty spot with someone. But as soon as I did, I realized that I was only hurting myself and that great guy who I miserably made into my rebound. Me and my boyfriend had done that during our break up. It was a sad time and one we wish to never repeat in our relationship again. Though, it was a lesson learned and we realized that the only one who could feel that void was that person themselves.
Our situation, our break up, was not like any normal one. But, if I could explain it I would. But the story is left to be untold and honestly, it is better left that way. I have decided to not live in the past with him. He is a great friend and a great lover. We are equals in a way and I could wait forever for the day he decides to be fully committed to me. Whether it be tomorrow or ten years from now, i'd still be committed to him and be as I am now. Honestly, I can't help but say that right now we are at our happiest. We have become a duo that is hard to come against.
But here comes the next part. Remember that guy who hurt you so horribly that you just can't help but snoop around in you "now" boyfriend's things? Hunny, remember. . . he isn't him. He doesn't look like him, he doesn't sound like him, and he certainly doesn't sound like him (Bleh). He is not your ex. He is the male you are now so in love with you can't help but not want to lose him. . . Yet your trust issues will put a large strain on him. Stop right there. Just stop. If you are going into a relationship with trust issues, either you end the relationship or you work on that problem by yourself. If he has not given you a reason not to trust him then there is no reason why you should not, right? He loves you too and doesn't want to think you don't trust him.
I got over my trust issues literally only two months ago. Me and my boyfriend will be together for two years in August. My trust issues have put a strain on me and more importantly him. He always asks me why I don't trust him and as much as I want to answer it, I just can't. Sure, our past was a point about it but as I said earlier, i'm letting go of that past. It's not even a subject in our vocabulary anymore. I am dating him again, I decided to take him back as he did me, so I should trust that he won't hurt me again, right? Right.
Basically, let's put it this way. Relationships are just as big of a hell hole as your dating life IF YOU LET IT BE. But, there are so many ways to get around those problems and as always you must keep hope. Hope that he is the one, hope that he may be the one, or hope that you will find the one. Because we were meant to be dreamers. . . and as a child, you never let someone tell you what your dreams were, right?
Recommended: Watch "He's Just not that into You" or read the book. It gives you great advice. Even puts some advice in their for guys and helps them better understand a woman's thought process. All in all, great movie<3
